Toilet Talk

My plans for the weekend include two genocide memorials. One is in Butare where I will get to see the lab where CNLG does work in preserving artifacts and remains. The second is Nymata. This memorial site is the church tens of thousands of Tutsis took refuge in and was burned down using grenades thrown into the windows. This is not going to be an easy weekend. If I do choose to write about my experiences in the next few days, and to be honest I probably won’t, it most likely won’t be entertaining or uplifting. So today I will recount a rather difficult situation I got myself into in my first few days here as a little reprieve between potentially heart breaking sadness. 

It has been 5 weeks since this first occurred which makes it slightly less embarrassing and generally more tolerable to relate to the public.

My flight into Kigali landed at 1:30 am. The drive to where I am staying took approximately 10 minutes so I got home right around 2 am. Evode showed me to my room, helped me connect to the internet, and showed me where the bathroom was. I was initially dreading the bathroom situation. After spending two weeks in India a few years back I learned that the only way for me to pee in a hole without covering myself in my own urine is to strip naked from the waist down. This is time consuming and even then… I still have the light aroma of urine surrounding me at all times. And in terms of other bathroom business… I have never attempted it and I seriously hope the need never arises. 

Back on track, the toilet looked adequate for my Western purposes and Evode quickly left me to get some sleep. I send an email, brush my teeth, and head to bed. About half way through my sleepless, jet lagged night I need to pee. Terrified of what night critters I might encounter, I creep out of my room and into the bathroom. I take care of business and go to flush… there is no flusher. Of course not. I notice a conspicuous knob sticking out of the top of the toilet. Hmm. This looks promising. I hesitantly pull on the knob. An alarming sucking noises comes from the toilet bowl for about five seconds and then all is quiet. Nothing happened. 

Next to the toilet is a very large red bucket filled with water and a smaller bucket floating at the top. I consider the bucket for a moment. I have no idea where I would pour the water. In the top part? I decide not to start throwing water around willy nilly. Instead, why don’t I pull on the mysterious knob some more? Perfect. I pull a bit harder and nothing happens. No sound, no flush. Getting desperate, I pull a bit harder. The knob breaks and I fly backward into the wall. I now have the knob in my hand and the toilet still did not flush. In sheer panic, I place the knob gently back on top of the toilet and scurry back to bed like the coward that I am. I resolve to apologize profusely in the morning and seek clarification on how to flush the toilet. 

My first morning in Kigali was miserable. I was in anxiety attack mode and could barely remember my own name which made introductions to my new living partners more difficult. My decision to admit to breaking the toilet waivered… Hi my name is Erika, I’m from Illinois. I’m an idiot and I broke the toilet last night. Can you show me the proper way to flush? Just didn’t sound like the best first impression. So I waited. This also meant that I could not use the bathroom again until I figured out how to flush the damn thing. I went to town with Dinah to exchange money, get groceries, and be thrown up on during the bus ride home and the toilet situation didn’t come up. How do you incorporate toilet flushing into an introductory conversation? You just don’t.

The need to confront the toilet troubles was becoming more pressing as the day went on. Luckily, After the market I was shepherded to the guest house to meet the others staying here. There, in clear view of the door, was a bathroom. At a relatively appropriate time in the conversation with my new neighbors, I asked if their toilet flushed properly, and when the answer was yes I politely bolted to the facilities. The toilet I encountred was the exact same… I fearfully pulled on the knob… and it flushed. For the next 24 hours, I simply used the toilet in the guest house. That Friday afternoon, I went to my internship for the first time. A while in, I ask where the bathroom is and proceed to the facilities. And what meets me, pray ask. The conspicuous knob and foreign bucket setup. Hi, I’m Erika. I’m the new intern from the States. Can you show me how to flush the toilet? So I held it until I got home and rushed off to the guest house. 

We are now about 40 hours into my time in Kigali. First day not knowing how to use the toilet. Maybe the following morning is still acceptable. You hit the 40 hour mark and it’s just weird. Hi Dinah, I know you already think I’m strange but I also haven’t used the bathroom in almost two days. Can you show me how to flush the toilet? It wasn’t happening.

For dinner that evening I had a meal I have come to adore (and digest much more pleasantly) boiled plantains, beans, and the magical tomato based sauce Agnes is teaching me to make. While digestion in general isn’t too rocky here, my stomach’s first encounter was a bit shaky. I did not realize this was the case until around 10 pm. I sneak off to the guest house bathroom and the front door is locked. Seriously? Only me. I hobble back to my room and all I have the capacity for is to lie down and pray this somehow does not result in complete mortification. By some grace of God I make it through the night without exploding and take care of things bright and early when the door is open. 

Note: I found out a few days later that the door was not locked, it is just difficult to open. You basically have to throw your entire body into it.

A day or so later I mustered the courage to ask a fellow Muzungu how to use the toilet. She laughed and demonstrated the process…

You take the smaller bucket, fill it with water from the larger bucket, and pour it down the bowl. I don’t know how this witch craft works but it functions the same way as flushing the toilet. At some point, the knob functioned as an actual flusher but the toilet was broken. The toilet in my office also has a normal flusher but the water is often not working so they keep a bucket around just in case.

The dowry introduction I went to in Gasibo two weekends ago had a bathroom that consisted of a hole in the ground. Facing a four hour bus ride home, I sucked it up and delt. Luckily, I was wearing a skirt.