gotta catch 'em all

Similar to every other person, I have a complicated family. Not generally the fun kind that drives you bonkers at Christmas but you love no matter what. My relationships with my immediate family have been difficult and because of that, I have not always been terribly close to my extended family.

Most importantly, my relationships with my parents have been a source of anxiety, hurt, and a wide array of nastiness. It was never easy and rarely pleasant for many years. During that time, something important happened, I developed a new family, a conglomeration of individuals and groups that created my own little happiness. Not one of blood and obligation. My new family was a patchwork of love and support and mutual trust and respect. It started when friends’ families would invite me for holidays when I couldn’t get home to Illinois. For example, Thanksgiving ’10 lasted four days with at least four meals and a week’s worth of leftovers. By the time Monday and my overextended person rolled around, several more families had adopted me.

Part of this is simply going to school far from home. There are few things quite as sad as a college student alone in an apartment getting through the holiday season. But something about me screams “Take care of me!” I can only assume it is my general disregard for my own well being sometimes and my charming aroma of madness but whatever it is, I do not know anyone who has more people rooting for him or her than I do. 

In the past year or so, many of my relationships have changed. As any other twenty-something progressing through early adulthood, I have begun to widdle the relationships that might not be as healthy or make me as happy to be able to maintain those that truly matter. I also became an adult who was capable of maintaining relationships with extended family without the assistance of my parents which helps a lot.

The most important relationship that has grown in this process is with my dad. I won’t go into the gushy details of how happy I am, but I am. I wish we could have gotten here years ago but I am starting to understand why we didn’t and probably couldn’t and I am at peace with it. What matters is that we are where we are and it is a good place to be.

Best part of all of this is, I get to keep them all. From the three or more incredible women I spent time with or thought of on Mother’s Day to the Aunt and Uncle who are still saved in my phone with reversed genders (i.e Uncle Pam & Aunt Mark) because I was a very confused five year old. I love my collection of humans who love me. I may have just associated my situation with Ash capturing and collecting Pokemon… Hm, battling the Bauers and the Ballantines.

In sum, I am a lucky gal.